# 📝 Crispy Goat Microcopy Guide

This is how Crispy Goat talks — on buttons, forms, error states, and empty spaces. The tone is smart, blunt, self-aware, and never trying too hard.

---

## 🧠 General Voice & Tone

- **Confident. Minimal. Blunt.**
- A little dry or deadpan — but never robotic
- Never say more than you need to. Ever.
- Be clever *only if* it doesn’t slow the user down
- Humor should feel unforced. A wink, not a punchline.
- If it sounds like a brochure or a startup pitch deck, it’s wrong.

---

## 🧩 Common Microcopy Patterns

### Buttons
| Intent        | Text                    |
|---------------|-------------------------|
| Primary CTA   | `Let’s Go` / `Show Me`  |
| Secondary     | `No Thanks` / `Not Now` |
| Submit Form   | `Send It` / `Do the Thing` |
| Danger        | `I Know What I’m Doing` |
| Obvious Joke  | `Absolutely Not` (for a cancel/close button) |

### Form Fields
- Placeholder:  
  `Your Email (we probably won’t write back)`
- Label:  
  `Name (real or fake, we don’t care)`
- Submit:  
  `Fire It Off`

### Errors
- `Something broke. We’re not surprised.`
- `Try again, or don’t.`
- `You missed a required field. Embarrassing.`
- `That’s not a real email. You knew that.`

### Empty States
- **No results**:  
  `Nothing here. Maybe it’s you.`
- **No events yet**:  
  `Quiet for now. We’re plotting.`
- **Form incomplete**:  
  `You’re not done. We believe in you, barely.`

### 404 Page
```
You went too far. Even goats know their limits.
```

---

## 🎨 Footer Copy Examples

- `Crispy Goat. Est. 🤷‍♂️`
- `Built with real code and no patience.`
- `Good work. Bad attitude.`
- `Crafted in the mountains. Released into the wild.`

---

## 🤫 Hidden Copy / Easter Eggs

- Console log: `console.warn("We told you not to inspect.")`
- Hover alt text: `"This link goes places. Spiritually."`
- Form easter egg: If someone enters `asdf` or fake text, show:  
  `Try harder. Or just leave.`

---

## ✅ Style Rules

- Use sentence case (not Title Case)
- Avoid exclamation marks (unless sarcastic)
- Never use “submit,” “enter,” “click here,” or “subscribe”
- Use periods for tone. They’re blunt.
- Don’t write instructions unless they’re funny *and* helpful

---

## 💬 Example Voice in Context

```html
<h2>We’re probably not taking clients.</h2>
<p>But if you’re insistent, go ahead. We dare you.</p>
<button>Make the Case</button>
```

```html
<label>Email</label>
<input placeholder="We probably won’t reply">
```

---

## 🧼 Don’t You Dare

- “We value your business”
- “Let’s build something great together”
- “Innovative solutions”
- “Our team of experts”
- Anything that sounds like a pitch deck from 2012

---

## 🧠 Summary

Crispy Goat copy should:
- Say only what’s needed — with style
- Be proud, dry, and on the edge of rude
- Never sound like you’re trying to win the client
- Make someone laugh once, raise an eyebrow twice, and trust you anyway

If it reads like a job application or a startup homepage, rewrite it.